Same System - Different Consequences: Why Feminism Matters for Everyone

When discussions about femicide or gender-based violence come up, they are often met with an immediate defensive response from men: “Not all men” or “I would never do that”. These statements are common and predictable, and they shift the focus from the issue itself to personal reassurance and self-distancing. This reaction reveals a widespread misunderstanding of what feminism actually aims to address: feminism does not accuse individual men but examines the social structures and cultural norms that allow violence, silence and inequality to persist.  

The heart of the problem is not individual guilt. Not committing violence against women does not exempt someone from the collective responsibility we all share in maintaining a system that allows it to persist. Society is built on patterns, norms, and unspoken rules, some small and some large, that we collectively accept as normal. These preconditions shape the actions and expectations of everyone, men and women alike. Even if one does not actively harm, one still bears responsibility for the structures and attitudes that make violence and inequality possible. Yet, this concept is often misunderstood or ignored.  

In Europe, I focus here on Italy, femicide rates remain alarmingly high every year. Even in the face of such extreme violence, many men still respond defensively, or worse, shift the conversation entirely. One of the best examples of this phenomenon is the focus on male suicide rates. Of course, male suicide is a serious issue, but it becomes misleading when raised precisely in discussions about femicide, as if it were a counterargument. Male suicides do not negate femicides, nor do they undermine the point being made, especially because the connection between the two is striking. The same rigid gender roles and cultural expectations that allow femicide to persist are the very patterns that create pressure, emotional repression, and distress for men.  

“Man up”, “Men don’t cry”, or “Be a man” are just some examples of how this patriarchal system is disruptive for everybody. Men are expected to be strong, to suppress vulnerability and to repress emotions, which makes a lot harder for them to ask for help. The reason all of this happens is the same system that feminism seeks to dismantle: a system of rigid gender roles, power hierarchies, and social silences that shapes behaviour for everyone. Patriarchy is not a war of men versus women, it is a structure that produces violence and oppression in different forms.

Understanding this shared yet differentiated burden is crucial: feminism is not an attack on men, nor a question of individual blame. It is a movement aimed at changing the system so that women can finally claim the opportunities, rights, and respect they deserve. This does not put men at a disadvantage. Changing these structures benefits everyone, because it challenges the rigid roles and expectations that constrain both women and men. 

True empowerment is not about asking women to be stronger or endure more within an unchanged system.

Feminism is not about helping women survive a broken system, it is about reshaping the system itself so that equality becomes possible. This is not a fight women can, or should, carry alone. Lasting change requires a collective effort: challenging rigid gender roles, dismantling cultural norms, and creating spaces where both women and men can live authentically and without fear. Only by confronting the system together, by taking responsibility for the patterns and structures that shape our lives, can society move beyond endurance as a measure of worth. Feminism asks us all to imagine and build a world where equality is the default, not the exception.